Bar Mitzvah Form

At Chabad of Southlake, our primary goal is preparing our children to live Jewish lives with pride, with knowledge, and enthusiasm. When your child reaches the age of Bar Mitzvah, we share with your family the privilege and responsibility of welcoming him into the adult Jewish community. Together, we hope to instill the meaning and significance of the occasion, to celebrate appropriately, and to honor your child's place among the Jewish people. We have prepared the following guidelines to assist you in planning for this joyous occasion.

In order to hold your child's ceremony and/or celebration at Chabad, the following requirements must be met:

Your child must be born to a Jewish mother or converted under Orthodox auspices. If the mother or maternal grandmother was converted to Judaism, please set up an appointment with the Rabbi to determine if those conversions met with the Chabad standards for conversion.

If the prospective Bar Mitzvah boy, his mother or maternal grandmother are adopted, we will need documentation that shows that the birth mother was Jewish or that a proper conversion was performed.

According to Jewish Law, religious identity is determined solely by the mother and an intermarried family where the father is not Jewish has no effect on the religious identity of the child.

Upon receiving a date for the Bar Mitzvah, we require the family to join our synagogue and attend a minimum of twice a month for Shabbat services. This will ensure that your child is familiar with the services, and provide for smoother sailing on the big day.

Bar Mitzvah is the day on which a child becomes responsible for Mitzvot and accountable for both positive and negative behaviors under Jewish law. According to the Talmud, this takes place at age 13. This happens automatically on their Jewish birth date, regardless of the way the day is marked. The ceremony and celebration should take place as close to the Jewish birthday as possible. As a child grows, the Jewish and secular birthdays may move weeks apart, we therefore need to make sure that your preferred date is indeed after your child's 13th Jewish birthday.

We recommend scheduling Bar Mitzvahs at least 18 months prior to your child's 13th birthday. To choose a date, set up an initial meeting with the Rabbi to determine your child's Jewish birthday. Your child's Bar Mitzvah must be in the year following that date, as close as possible to the date but not before it.

Shabbat Bar Mitzvah: The Bar Mitzvah ceremony takes place on Saturday morning from 10:00 am - 12:30 pm and is followed by a Kiddush that usually ends about 1:30. Men and women are seated separately for the traditional service but are joined later for the Kiddush luncheon. The service includes a morning Shabbat service from 10:00 -11:00, the Torah reading from about 11:00- 11:40, speeches by the Bar Mitzvah boy and the Rabbi, and the concluding service from about 11:40 - 12:30. Please note that at a Shabbat Bar Mitzvah no photography or music will be permitted.

Weekday Bar Mitzvah: The Torah is read every Monday and Thursday morning as well and thus provides an alternative to a Shabbat Bar Mitzvah. Many people prefer this for several reasons; 1) The services is much shorter and easier for first timers 2) Start time is a lot more flexible 3) Music and photography are permitted.

If doing a Shabbat Bar Mitzvah Our regular worshippers will join in the Kiddush so when planning, please don't forget to include several extra guests.

The party must be one at which the food that is brought in meets our Kashrut standards. Chabad approves certain caterers, meats, and bakeries. Please speak to the Rabbi or Rishi for ideas and suggestions in this regard.

The Bar Mitzvah boy will begin preparation classes at the determined time prior to his Bar Mitzvah. Classes are private, and are set up directly with the Rabbi. Classes are held once a week for 30-45 minutes at a mutually convenient time. In consultation with the Bar Mitzvah boy and his parents a course of learning and preparation will be decided upon.

We do not have a fee structure for Bar Mitzvah preparation, rather we suggest a $1,800 - $2,500 donation in honor of the Bar Mitzvah. NO ONE WILL BE TURNED AWAY DUE TO LACK OF FUNDS.

Tefillin will also need to be purchased before the Bar Mitzvah.

Classes with the Rabbi will include the following:

- Discussions about the meaning and significance of becoming a Bar Mitzvah.

- Learning how to put on Tefillin, the accompanying blessings, its meaning, makeup, and relevance.

- Studying the Torah reading, accompanying blessings, Haftorah reading (if Shabbat) the meaning and relevance of the portions read during the ceremony.

- Assistance in the writing of the Bar Mitzvah speeches, and "Dvar Torah."  

- Optional study for the leading of part of the services.